can you keep a secret?

today is one of those days when i'm faced with a blank screen and have absolutely no idea what to write on it. so i've decided to post a list of all secrets i can think of in five minutes, just off the top of my beflowered head.


1) i occasionally throw perfectly edible food away because i can't stand seeing it in the fridge.
2) i don't know anyone who doesn't like the song nothing's gonna stop us now by jefferson starship.
3) sometimes i think i go to work and pretend to know things when i really don't know what language they're speaking in.
4) pandas freak me out. hence i could not watch kungfu panda.
5) i got a temporary lifeguard job by pretending to be a varsity swimmer. (i can swim, just not varsity-like).
6) i faked knowing several languages in my resume.
7) i talk to myself when i'm alone. out loud.
8) i only went into medicine because i couldn't think of anything else to do after college.
9) sometimes, all i really want is to be a trophy wife.
10) i once went three days without eating anything other than skippy crunchy peanut butter.
11) i think new shoes and cupcakes can solve any problem.

the fake fashionista

{audrey hepburn as seen in Gap ads}

embarrassing but true: there are days when i feel like i can live on Gap clothing from weeks to an end and not mind. going to a Gap store makes me as delighted as going to, say, Topshop. or going to a frilly cupcake shop. so much for couture all day, everyday!

almond soy milk and sleep

{photograph by marcus kazmierczak, 2005}

this was how i felt on the way home -- i was supposed to update properly but
have just realized that i am too tired to do so. i can almost taste sleep on
my tongue; it vaguely resembles almond soy milk in flavor.
good night!

the trick is to keep breathing

well. as was aptly predicted by myself several posts ago, neurology rotation ate me for july and spat me out only several days ago for august, half alive after days and days of ct scans and mris, stroke conferences, rounds (and rounds and rounds and rounds) with my trusty neuro hammer, 6am call times, DNRs, and gallons of coffee. hemiparesis, anisocoria, and status epilepticus be damned, im now in radiology rotation and still breathing. that is, if my pneumonia doesn't get me first. i have a niggling suspicion that it might be pseudomonas from too much close contact with endotracheal tubes, but im willing to give azithromycin a fighting chance.

and on to other things: i haven't been online much since june, except for infinitesimal sneak peeks at the sartorialist when i'm supposed to be looking for online journals to present in conferences. i went back today and, well, this suits my day perfectly. the partly quizzical, half sulky look {blame it on the fact that i'm breathing forty times a minute to compensate for my shredded lungs}, the grey grey day, and still! the royalty of that blue! i adore it and only wish i'm as well-attired for my daily battle. but alas, im still out on my terrace at this late hour, bundled up in my oversize l/s oxford shirt and little else. listening to tiny dancer whilst having tea with my cheetos. perhaps tomorrow will be a brighter day.